Thoughts on a Train, Again.

Flip, my knees are cold. It’s like I somehow forgot that Canadian late fall mornings are frigid. Note to self, wear tights underneath next time.

Oh god, my nose is leaking. Don’t sniff too hard or you will look like one of those gross people that lick cats in their spare time.

At least I will have time for a coffee prior to work, I suppose. Maybe my Starbucks friend will put whipped cream on it. Not that coffee and whipped cream inherently go together. I just think it would be a nice treat for myself because I got up so early like a real adult

Okay, lean your head back casually like you are looking at the ceiling. The drops will go back into your nose where they belong.

Oh God, it’s rolling down my throat. Bad idea!

Shit, I should have say closer to the door. I did not think this through.

Buddy, you are spoiling your coffee over everyone. Try not to wear your social ignorance in your shoulder, yeah?

I’ll just slowly work my way to the door at each stop. That will work. Tits, which side opens at Chinook station? Aw hell, riding trains is supes awkward.

Lady do not abandon your bags in the middle of the aisle. Oh my god, the ignorance is palpable. It tastes like old pickles.

I’m resistimg the urge to kick over her shit. Like, just BAM, send her lunch flying right into her smug boots. Pick up yo shit. The rest of us are squeezed like sardines.

Okay, two more stops. Don’t think about passive aggressively ruining the idiot students crap.

Plus side, this is generally a good test in one’s ability to not descend into a murderous rage.

Did I just touch that woman’s bum with my elbow? Oh god, don’t turn around, don’t turn around.

She’s looking at me, say something witty! 

Smiling sheepishly was not the appropriate response. It’s okay, the next stop is mine.

Oh my god she’s getting off too.

No, I am not following you. You don’t have to walk so fast.