My Little Love, Six months ago I called your father at 3 a.m. and gave him the news. It was time. We had suspected it was approaching, given I had lost what I affectionately refer to as my "jelly center" the day prior, but my mom had assured me that it can take up to… Continue reading Adventures in Butternut Squash
Dear Doritos, I imagine right about now you are asking yourselves what happened. Why has your glorious decision of soft-ish chips, directed towards the females of the planet, been targeted by trollish harassment and mockery since its announcement. Somewhere, I imagine there is an R&D specialist who is gazing woefully at the trending hashtags of… Continue reading An Open Letter to Doritos- “But is it yogurt flavored?”
Recently, Ken King decided to double down on the crazy pills vis a vis CalgaryNext. Presumably that means KathleenNOW is off the table. Dear Ken King, I can only imagine the frustrations you must be grappling with in the face of our refusal to indulge your petty desire for more hookers and cocaine. It is difficult,… Continue reading An Open Letter to Ken King “You can’t emotionally blackmail that which is already dead inside.”
Thought: Why do we call them 'Corn Mazes'? What fool overlooked the hilarious opportunity for it to be a "Maize Maze"? Dear Swanson Steamfresh, As I write this I am witnessing my husband's face contort in a wildly amusing way. I might say I could have told you so to him, but that would only… Continue reading An Open Letter to Swanson Steamfresh products “The Age of Sauce Is Upon Us”
This week's open letter is from Shawna Yanke to Freedom Mobile. Shawna is upset. Shawna did not write the title. I did. I think 'Freedom Mobile' is a silly name. So is Wind. You might as well have named it "Basically Bell Mobile". At least the consonant repetition would have tickled my tongue. An Open… Continue reading An Open Letter from Shawna Yanke to Freedom “Sort of Like If You Take Things They Are Technically Free” Mobile
You might remember Andrew. Andrew emailed me again, this time to share a quote: "You've got to let it go and say it was the best I could do at that time and place in my life. You hope that the thing you're doing next is a little bit better." -Todd McFarlane Here is Katarina… Continue reading An Open Letter to Andrew, Who Just Wanted to Share a Quote
Andrew sent me this forward. I don't think I know Andrew. I know some Andrews but I don't think I know this one. Hi, Today—just one week before the Electoral College meets to formally elect our next president—a bipartisan group of electors sent a letter to the Director of National Intelligence James Clapper demanding an… Continue reading An Open Letter to Andrew, Who Wants Me to Sign a Petition
Note: The following letter was forwarded to me and is reprinted here with the author's permission. The individual has asked that they remain anonymous to prevent any internal backlash. As today is Remembrance Day here in Canada, I felt obligated to reprint it today more than ever. Dear Sir or Madam, It is regrettably with… Continue reading An Open Letter to the BC Teachers’ Federation – A Reflection on Military “Propaganda”
Dear John Connolly, I'll be the first to admit, I should be busy reading A Time of Torment, which was just (mercifully) released in North America. There is a bonus working in a book store, even if it is a mass retailer. The moment I realized Torment was released I was able to leave our lunch room and… Continue reading An Open Letter to John Connolly
To the Whirlpool CEO, Jeff Fettig, Dear Sir, My recent experience with your Whirlpool W10219708A Compact Front Loading Automatic Washer has been, how to put it delicately, something of a bit of a joke. Were I a calm and reasonable person, I might describe it as mildly frustrating, perhaps even undesirable. Instead, I find that… Continue reading An Open Letter to Whirlpool CEO, Jeff Fettig
