Reflection, Satire

Welcome to Paris: Please Empty Your Pockets

We had to do a short writing exercise for one of my classes. Bam! Success! Paris, the City of Love, also happens to be the City of Black Market Cellphones. That is not to say it is composed entirely of couples in love toting illicitly obtained iPhones, but my own recent experience would suggest that… Continue reading Welcome to Paris: Please Empty Your Pockets

Random, Reflection, Satire

Pigeons of Paris

Paris has many pigeons. Grey, speckled, white, a microcosm of pigeon culture, all with the same beady red eyes, watching, waiting. And, oh yes, they are all tremendously fat. I'm not talking about your average run of the mill fat pigeon. I'm talking about full on boisterous, carnivorous birds that spend their days bathing in… Continue reading Pigeons of Paris

Random, Reflection, Satire

The Honeymon Letters: Dear Paris, Please Stop Trying to Sell Me Phones

I’m in Paris on my honeymoon. I like Paris. I also like ferrets, and Barret from Final Fantasy VII. I also like rhymes. Dear Paris, I've found you at last. What a magnificent city. What an oddly surreal experience to walk into. I mean this in the most literal sense. When we stepped off the… Continue reading The Honeymon Letters: Dear Paris, Please Stop Trying to Sell Me Phones

Random, Satire

The Honeymoon Letter Series: #1

I'm away on my honeymoon! Yay me and also my new husband! In true form, however, the comedy has already begun. You can read some of my other open letters here, here, aaaand here. Dear Guy Sitting in Seat 22D on the Flight to Chichago, Listen, I get it. We’re both stuck in this whirling metal… Continue reading The Honeymoon Letter Series: #1