Open Letter, Uncategorized

An Open Letter to Kevin O’Leary: You’re making us O’Weary

Dear Kevin O'Leary, Listen, Kevin, we need to have a talk. No, I don't have a million dollars to offer you, and no, dinosaur soul juice does not flow through my veins, but I am an Albertan, so listen up. You need to stop. Stop. Stop, Kevin O'Leary. Stop talking. Go away. I will give… Continue reading An Open Letter to Kevin O’Leary: You’re making us O’Weary

Extra Life, Fundraising, Random, Reflection

Extra Life 2015 – A Week Late

Last week was the official Game Day for Extra Life 2015. Unfortunately I couldn't partake as I was busy screaming at children and their parents. Now, you might be saying to yourself "Tell us something about you that we don't know, Kathleen." If I am to be honest, I was paid to scream at them. I… Continue reading Extra Life 2015 – A Week Late

Open Letter

An Open Letter to Alberta Premier Rachel Notley

Dear Premier Notley, First, let me congratulate you on the NDP's stunning rise to power in Alberta. 40 years is too long to suffer through anything without seeing some change (and I say that almost completely without irony save for the little bit which, I assume, will become clear in the next few paragraphs.) I… Continue reading An Open Letter to Alberta Premier Rachel Notley

Reflection

Chronic Pain Diaries IV

Okay, spine. Listen. I know it's hard. Life is hard for you. You shouldn't be fused, and you are. You shouldn't have metal scattered about you, and yet you do. For some reason all your happy little nerves coming from your facet joints aren't actually happy. You are tired, angry, and you are trying your… Continue reading Chronic Pain Diaries IV

Open Letter, Satire

An Open Letter to the People of Alberta: Behold, Your New Premier (is me)

My Fellow Albertans, The polls are open in Alberta, and to save you both time and aggravation, I feel it prudent to make my announcement ahead of the officially polling day. I, people of Alberta, your noble Integrity Commissioner for the City of Calgary, am your new Premier. I know, I know. You’re thinking What… Continue reading An Open Letter to the People of Alberta: Behold, Your New Premier (is me)

Random, Satire

All Hail the Mighty Soapbox

This is my soapbox. That’s why I write open letters wherein I complain to people, places, things. Basically any noun that really grinds my gears. On very few occasions have I ever found myself so truly enraged by something that I felt the need to take it to the streets. Nope, the good ol’ written… Continue reading All Hail the Mighty Soapbox

Open Letter, Satire

An Open Letter to the City of Calgary and its Council Members: “As your new Integrity Commissioner…”

Dear City of Calgary and Calgary Council Members, Greetings and good day! My name is Kathleen Sawisky and I am your new Integrity Commissioner. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Integrity Commissioner? We only voted to get one yesterday!” and “I don’t see your resume anywhere” and “Please stop calling us with complaints about your… Continue reading An Open Letter to the City of Calgary and its Council Members: “As your new Integrity Commissioner…”

Random

That Time of Year: Extra Life 2014

Apart from my desperate pleas to the Alberta Government for financial aid in order to afford medication, I only ever ask for money during one time of the year: Extra Life. For those of you not in the know., Extra Life is a 24 hour video game marathon that takes place every year in support… Continue reading That Time of Year: Extra Life 2014