Okay, spine. Listen. I know it's hard. Life is hard for you. You shouldn't be fused, and you are. You shouldn't have metal scattered about you, and yet you do. For some reason all your happy little nerves coming from your facet joints aren't actually happy. You are tired, angry, and you are trying your… Continue reading Chronic Pain Diaries IV
My Fellow Albertans, The polls are open in Alberta, and to save you both time and aggravation, I feel it prudent to make my announcement ahead of the officially polling day. I, people of Alberta, your noble Integrity Commissioner for the City of Calgary, am your new Premier. I know, I know. You’re thinking What… Continue reading An Open Letter to the People of Alberta: Behold, Your New Premier (is me)
This is my soapbox. That’s why I write open letters wherein I complain to people, places, things. Basically any noun that really grinds my gears. On very few occasions have I ever found myself so truly enraged by something that I felt the need to take it to the streets. Nope, the good ol’ written… Continue reading All Hail the Mighty Soapbox
I think we're by-products of our connections. When we're born, we exist as an empty slate, but the moment the doctor touches us, the nurse swaddles us, and our parents hold us, we begin to form. We're impacted on a daily basis by these connections. We don't always see them or feel them or understand… Continue reading Connections
I have a few things to announce: 1. As of wednesday I will be officially done my degree in Communications. I still do not understand the concept of 'syntax', and often use the word 'synergy' in its place. 2. I have officially closed my file at the Chronic Pain Center. This is a big step… Continue reading Ch-ch-ch-changes!
Dear Overly Passive Aggressive Neighbor, You’re upset. I get that. It’s tough living in a multi-family building, especially when you move in expecting ethereal peace and, I assume, the dulcet tones of Enya to wake you up in the morning. Obviously you missed the previous amendment to the condo regulations where it was stated that… Continue reading An Open Letter to My Overly Passive Aggressive Neighbor
Dear Morons, I’m sorry, did that start a bit harsh? You’re probably right. How rude of me. Let’s try that again. Dear Human Filth, What, still too much? Bah, there’s no making some assholes happy, that’s for sure. Let’s just continue on. Dear Disgusting Representation of Mankind, It must be very hard for you, to… Continue reading An Open Letter to the People Criticizing Kristi Gordon of Global BC
It has been a bad few weeks. I can’t say exactly what triggered this particular adventure in excruciating pain, but if I were to hazard a guess I would say it has something to do with my attempts to live in the real world as a normal person who does not have chronic pain or… Continue reading Chronic Pain Diaries III
Dear Whomever-the-Hell-is-in-Charge-(?)-of-Pretty-Little-Liars, Bravo. If I could convey a slow, unamused, snarky slow clap via the internet, that is precisely what you would be hearing right now. Bra-fucking-o. You did it. You got all of us. All of us who tune in weekly, most reluctantly, in the dim hope that this will be the week. This… Continue reading An Open Letter to Whomever the Hell is in Charge of Pretty Little Liars
Dear Ben and/or Jerry, Listen, I get it, guys. We are America’s hat. We live in a country that is under snow 95% of the year. The other 5% consists entirely of room temperature water hatching mosquitos. Sure, we’re the second largest country on earth, but I can appreciate why you might not view Canada… Continue reading An Open Letter to Ben & Jerry
The Code Series 